Saturday, May 28, 2016

Five years.

Yesterday, Chris and I were fortunate to plan a night away, in a different city than our own, and bask in each others company. After five years of marriage, time alone is few and far between, so we take advantage of any moment we can be together. We escaped the stresses of work and the kiddos to explore Lexington, which allowed us to refresh and refocus. We explored the horse track, farmlands, and most importantly ate at the local hot spots. Now we're back home cuddling with our babies and ending our anniversary over ice cream.
With our wedding anniversary today , I can't help but think back to my stranger self standing at that alter, young, naive but eager to begin a covenant with my groom and the many things I've learned since. I had many preconceived ideas at the ripe age of 22 of what made a marriage "good", in which I quickly discovered those to be foolish and downright untrue. Five years have quickly escaped us, but not without struggle nor trials, but many things that have strengthened our bond and transformed our hearts. As quickly as I said "I do" and the years to follow, I was presented with situations that could've destroyed the very vows we exchanged, and quite frankly there were instances I felt it would've been a more beneficial alternative, but thankfully God's plan is far better than any plan my weak mind could create. The most profound thing that the Lord has taught me in my marriage is that a covenant without "grace" is a wasteland. In any relationship, especially the very one you hold with the creator requires endless grace, because WE are all imperfect beings, and we screw up...ALOT. Whether it's been an ill word, a fit of uncontrolled rage, a lie, misdirected frustration, doubt, I've been personally guilty and also a victim of all in my marriage, but thankfully there's GRACE. With change comes growth, emotional development, and even pain, and for all of these things I'm entirely grateful, but more importantly I'm thankful for God's grace.To proclaim that God is done working in our marriage would be a gross, and ignorant statement, to which I would also fear to be true. I will never grow tired of growing, nor become content with being comfortable, and I pray God continues to test and bless our marriage. To the unfortunate lie that says "the first year of marriage is the hardest", and to all of those that believe this lie, don't be foolish. Marriage is a constant battlefield, and the enemy will attempt to destroy yours everyday. I know this all too well to be true, but I also know we serve a God much greater. I will continue to base my marriage off of the TRUTH, and not the cowardly lies of the enemy who entice us and our spouses with the dangers of addiction, porn, doubt, pride, self-hatred,social media, fear, unrighteous outsiders, stress. I pray our testimony as bride and groom exceeds more than what it confesses today, and that we strive for abundantly more than a"good" marriage.

To my Groom,
I'm thankful that every tear, every struggle, and all the laughs have been shared with you. God has shown me more through you, your vulnerability, your missteps, and your triumphs that have not only strengthened our life together, but my relationship with our creator. You are my motivator, protector, comforter, supporter, and greatest life decision. Please continue to keep me accountable, humble, smiling, and God-centered, and I vow to do the same. To the five years that have molded, shaped and transformed our life together, even if it didn't pass without struggle, I pray our life together is never easy but abundantly great. Blessed to have you by my side and in my corner now and forever.
 Love, your old lady.

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